where the sky is high
by Yati
Summary: Drabbles and snippets written for the 2005/2006 themes for LJ comm 52 Flavours. Focuses mostly on Shinn, with a Shinn/Stellar bias.
1. 07: snow falling over corpses

**( too soon to say goodbye)**  
_snow falling over corpses_

-

He has no idea how long he has been kneeling there, alone and unmoving, uncaring of the cold. The snow dusts his hair, his uniform: a speckle of light on dark, a sprinkle of white on red. He doesn't feel anything; perhaps his heart is dead. His heart is still beating, yet he thinks, almost vaguely, that it might as well be sleeping along with Stellar, away from the cold in that warm, happy place.

The snowflakes that melt against his skin as he tilts his face to the sky feel a little like tears. Shinn doesn't wipe them away.


	2. 13: dreams of the impossible

**(chasing after lost time)**  
_dreams of the impossible_

_- _

Stellar is laughing as she plays along the water's edge. She is dancing among the rocks, caught in a game with the waves that only she understands, and Shinn is content to let her be. The spray of the ocean glistens on her hair, on her bare arms and feet, and she's radiant, absolutely beautiful. Stellar's laughter is warm and comforting, and Shinn allows it to envelope him as he basks in the afternoon sun.

Stellar splashes back to his side, holding out her hands for his. Shinn takes them, letting her pull him to his feet. She leads him to the woods and suddenly he's standing alone beneath the trees and the shade is soft and gentle and a little bit like Stellar's smiles. He hears Mayu calling out to him (_come find me; you're It this time!_), her voice clear and high. He can see his mother arranging the paper plates and cups on the tablecloth spread on the grass, playfully scolding his father as he almost burns the second piece of meat on the grill.

Shinn wakes up to the sound of Minerva's alarms. He wonders, dimly, how it would feel to lie down and sleep forever.


	3. 31: the currency of hope

**(nothing left but to trust)**  
_the currency of hope_

_-_

The man in the mask stands in front of them, no weapons in his hands, his stance nonchalant.

_He'll save her_, Shinn thinks, releasing Stellar into the man's arms. Her breathing is shallow and her colour is gone. Stellar murmurs Shinn's name but Shinn barely hears her. _He has to save her._ Shinn doesn't have much choice, so he chooses to believe in the man: Stellar will get better, Stellar will smile again. She'll be happy and her life will be full of laughter and songs and bright days by the ocean.

Shinn couldn't afford to believe in anything else.


	4. 32: it's called love at first

**(falling into grace)**  
_it's called love at first, and doesn't hurt_

_-_

She presses the pink shell into his palm, smiling her sweet, gentle smile. He smiles back, unable to help himself.


	5. 33: the opposite of faith

**(never alone, never)**  
_the opposite of faith_

_-_

Lunamaria had decided, quite early in their friendship, that Shinn must have been dropped on his head when he was a child. Oh, he could be absolutely brilliant when he needed to be (though those moments were spaced very far between), but generally, Shinn was an idiot and that was that. If he graduated a Red, Luna thought, it would be partly because he kept stealing her notes.

"I hated the war," Shinn said vehemently. He was in one of his moods; Lunamaria thought that one of the classes had set him off. He had stormed out of the lecture hall when their classes had ended, and she had exchanged looks with Rey before rushing after Shinn. When she found him, he was staring off into the sky, lying on the lawn near the edge of campus, his uniform wrinkled and his hair tousled. Of course, Shinn's uniform was always wrinkled and his hair was always tousled---he was not Rey, after all, but the sight made Lunamaria shake her head and smile. A slight frown marred his forehead, and Lunamaria sat down beside him, offering him a juice box. He took it and nodded his thanks, still frowning as he bit at the straw. Two mobile suits were zooming off into the distance, and Lunamaria wished that they'd get a chance to pilot one soon. Classes and books and practising their marksmanship were essential, she knew, but things were getting boring.

"Most people did, Shinn," Lunamaria said, as gently as she could and in the most practical tone she could muster. Shinn lost everything in the war: his home, his family, probably his sense of being. She shuddered. She couldn't imagine how she would feel if she lost Meyrin and the rest of her family and friends, and she didn't want to. She joined ZAFT to protect them, and Shinn joined ZAFT because there was nothing left. Shinn wanted to protect what was left of the world, she supposed. To make sure that what happened to him never happened to anyone else. Shinn was hardly selfless---he just wanted peace.

Shinn gave no response to her words; he seemed intent on staring at the clouds, as if they hid all the answers he had been searching for all this while. Luna thought about Shinn and the cute cellphone he had with him all the time and the voice of a little girl telling her that she'll get back to the messages after the beep. _She'll never have the chance to do that, will she now?_ Such a morbid reminder. She hoped Shinn would never be stupid enough to try to be alone, to keep them all at a distance, forgetting that there were still other people there for him. "You still have us," Lunamaria said quietly, and Shinn glanced her way, meeting her gaze. Shinn finally smiled. It was a crooked smile, and it did nothing to the angry lines around his eyes, but it was something, at least.


	6. 43: eyes meeting over the noise

**(some things are meant to be)**_  
eyes meeting over the noise_

_-_

If you had asked Shinn if he remembered the girl he had accidentally — as Yolant had so eloquently put it — copped a feel when he was trying to stop her from falling while he was out wandering on that day off ages ago, he'd frown in honest consternation and tell you no. He'd probably even wonder where in the world you managed to come up with such a crazy idea. If, by some chance, you had managed to ask Stellar about the boy she had bumped into when she was dancing in the streets (and she had been lucid enough at that point to answer the question), she'd give you her most innocent look as she contemplated the question before shaking her head regretfully, telling you she was unable to recall such an incident.

Just another stranger on the road, just another unfamiliar face. First meetings are such serendipitous things.


	7. 48: lost, in order to become precious

**(words never spoken)**  
_lost, in order to become precious_

_-_

Shinn was an awesome older brother, Mayu had often thought. Even so, it had never occurred to her to tell that to Shinn, because Shinn could be such an idiot too, at times. Shinn doted on her: he played with her, he helped her with her homework, and he sometimes did her chores for her even though she never asked him to. Of course they fought, and they fought over awfully silly things too, like when Shinn had told her that he thought that pink was a really girly colour for a cellphone and how he refused to have his pictures taken using said phone's camera, or like when Shinn never ever seemed to get off the computer when she wanted to use it. Their fights, however, were usually over within moments, and Shinn would shuffle his feet and try to apologise, but Mayu would just hug him and they'd both laugh instead.

Shinn was a great brother. Mayu often felt terribly smug when her friends told her how they wished they got along with their siblings as well as she did with Shinn.

Mayu loved Shinn. Of course, it had never occurred to her to tell him that either.


End file.
